Sorry about the lack of updates. I left my last post unresolved and I just want to let you guys know that everything worked out for the better. My relationship with Lyndsey has been totally rekindled and I'm so happy about that. I got my passport yesterday and I'll be visiting her in almost exactly a month.
Here's something weird. In my sculpture class, we're doing reliefs, and we're at the stage that we're propping them up against the wall using stools and looking at them in terms of composition. Well, this girl next to me was being helped by my teacher and the stool slipped out and the board the the relief was on crushed my teacher's hand and broke one of her fingers. She took it very well... she was all "I'm sorry, but I probably should take care of this, is that okay?" like if one of us said no, she wouldn't have gone. It was just... really shocking, haha. She'll be alright though.
I'm seeing Heavy Heavy Low Low, HORSE the Band, So Many Dynamos, and Fastest Kid tonight! Yeah!
Every moment of happiness I have is now met with guilt. My love is only causing her pain now. I'm not losing her, but I can't keep living like this, I can't keep making her live like this. Every night, I feel like I have to count my blessings that we're still together. I truly feel like any moment, it could all be over. But it's not what either of us want. I'm going to see her again next month, but I'll be lucky if this lasts that long without a huge meltdown.
I don't know what to do.
